The Waivers Wrap - By Sue Nami

The Waivers Wrap - By Sue Nami Waiverton - The Fighting Blue Waves of Dave Waivers University extended their reign atop the Evanston/Skokie division of the Domer Conference by defeating Huskers Westgate Division leaders Skers on Saturday, 159-137.   Despite the absences of top RB TreVeyon Henderson and the early exit of Texas QB Quinn Ewers with a shoulder sprain, the Waves did just enough to earn the victory and move to 7-1. For a second straight week, however, a Waves win has become the subject of scrutiny within the CFF community.   Buzz around the league suggests the Waves have employed the illegal tactic of sign stealing via video recording equipment, specifically for use on defense and special teams.   Sources have confirmed to the Waivers Wrap that longtime BSI league commissioner Atpay Inermay has empowered investigators to seize computers from DWU's Chester Cheetah Athletics Complex, looking for evidence of a crime or cover-up.   "We resent the league'...

Waiverton - Waves fans everywhere were celebrating Saturday night as Dave Waivers University defeated its "Old Rival" 152-143, retaining the prestigious Danville Anvil trophy, unambiguously the single most coveted rivalry trophy in all of sports, real of fake.  At the final whistle, tens of thousands of inebriated hillbillies spilled onto the turf, a sweating, writhing proletarian mass, jubilant in its ecstasy, chugging homemade corn distillate, and lobbing bottles of its urine at the exiting Wintergreens!! players and staff.   "This one is for our fans!" screamed Dave Waivers University head football coach Dave Waivers in his on-field interview with ESPN's Holly Rowe.  "And also for our players, our coaches, our staff, our backroom staff, Nils Bagman and his player retention team, and our friends in the desert, who seem to know more than they should about Wintergreens U sidelines signaling." After politely refusing several mouthfuls of unidentif...