The Waivers Wrap - By Sue Nami

The Fighting Blue Waves of Dave Waivers University fell just short of sweeping their three local trophy games, losing to the Earls of Earl Pickswell University, 161-154.   The Waves slipped to 5th after the loss.   "Well, obviously, this is complete horseshit," remarked a chagrined Dave Waivers University Head Coach Dave Waivers.   "Why'd we lose?   Because the haters in our division got sick of us winning with defense last year, so they relentlessly whined at the commissioner all off season until he gave in to shut them up." The new defense scoring rules were clearly the major contributing factor in the loss.   Waivers gambled by playing Notre Dame's defense a week after the Irish's surprise home loss to MAC opponent Northern Illinois.   In saner times, his gamble would have paid off.   Notre Dame's suffocating defense stifled a hapless Purdue, holding the Boilermakers to just seven points and 164 total yards, while registering four sacks, two t

  The Waivers Wrap - By Sue Nami Mintington - The Fighting Blue Waves of Dave Waivers University opened the season with a 146-136 road victory over chief rival Wintergreens!!.   Saturday's victory marks the first time in the rivalry's history that the teams competed for the Danville Anvil on the opening weekend. "What a way to kick off the season," screamed an elated DWU Head Coach Dave Waivers at reporters after the game.   "Beat U!   Beat State!   Beat Tech!   Beat 'Greens!   The fight song told me to do it, so I went out and did it."   Waivers then took a long, cool pull off of a bottle of the all-new Diet Hard Mt. Dew Dewy Mountain Mad Sauce before flashing the Wintergreens "M" hand signal, and subsequently turning it upside down into the familiar "W" of the Waves sign.  "Mint Down," he added. Though the contest remained a low-scoring affair to the end, it was ultimately decided by Wintergreens!! inability to ha