WAVES HANDLE 'GREENS FOR ANVIL

 

The Waivers Wrap - By Sue Nami

Mintington - The Fighting Blue Waves of Dave Waivers University opened the season with a 146-136 road victory over chief rival Wintergreens!!.  Saturday's victory marks the first time in the rivalry's history that the teams competed for the Danville Anvil on the opening weekend.

"What a way to kick off the season," screamed an elated DWU Head Coach Dave Waivers at reporters after the game.  "Beat U!  Beat State!  Beat Tech!  Beat 'Greens!  The fight song told me to do it, so I went out and did it." 

Waivers then took a long, cool pull off of a bottle of the all-new Diet Hard Mt. Dew Dewy Mountain Mad Sauce before flashing the Wintergreens "M" hand signal, and subsequently turning it upside down into the familiar "W" of the Waves sign. 

"Mint Down," he added.

Though the contest remained a low-scoring affair to the end, it was ultimately decided by Wintergreens!! inability to handle a red-hot Jackson Dart (42 points).  On the other side of the ledger, Wintergreens!! new running back, Texas' Jaydon Blue, scored just 11 points, despite sources confirming that decision-makers inside the Wintergreens!! program had been smugly congratulating themselves on their own genius for drafting him. 

"We exist as a program to beat the Waves," said WU head coach Harlan "Winter" Greens.  "It's really our whole identity.  Other rivalries, particularly with Earl Pickswell U, just aren't the same.  Oh, I know I might say that one is the most important.  I might even believe it.  But like it or not, at the end of the day, the bottom line is, the Waves are our chief rivals.  However I might contradict myself in the future, don't believe me.  I'd be lying.  But right now, I'm telling the truth."

The Waves now turn their attention to another bitter rival, Howie Koachemup.  The challenge in stopping HKU's potent offense, which led the Domer Division in scoring last week, will be great.

"The challenge will be great," said Waivers.

The game kicks off on Saturday at 11am.

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