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Showing posts from September, 2022

The Waivers Wrap - Week 3

 The Waivers Wrap - By Sue Nami A crestfallen Dave Waivers University Head Coach Dave Waivers took to the podium after his team's narrow 154-153 loss to the Name Too Devine Tech Saints and lashed out in uncharacteristic fashion at his own team.  "I tell you what," said Waivers, "these one-point losses just gall you, know what I mean?  They just gall.  And I would never call out a player, but zero point three points for a starting running back ain't gonna cut it in this league, son.  You score 20 points sitting on the bench, then get into the game and put up zero point three?  Michigan State don't wanna play Waves football apparently, so it's straight back to the bench.  I'm galled." At 1-2, the Fighting Blue Waves must search for answers and find them quickly, as the W. Byron Rostersmith Smiths come to town for the Homecoming game boasting an undefeated record.  Waivers has already announced a roster shakeup this week, with Arizona's J. de La

The Waivers Wrap - Week 2

 The Waivers Wrap - By Sue Nami The Fightin' Blue Waves of Dave Waivers University fell to 1-1 after dropping Saturday's contest with Mac Bob U, 158-123.  Texas Tech QB Donovan Smith turned in an admirable 27-point performance in a call-up role for the injured Tyler Shough, but low outputs from Arizona QB Jayden de Laura and an uncharacteristically poor showing by the Alabama D/ST sunk the Waves' hopes for victory. "Those coaching staffs didn't coach Waves Football," said a dejected Dave Waivers University head coach Dave Waivers.  "More to the point, this 70% rule is killing me.  First, FCS teams shouldn't play FBS teams, it's a joke.  Second, when they do play, most of the starters get less than 70% of their normal snaps anyway.  It's hard on us fantasy coaches to get a sense of our rosters at this point in the season because you can never just roll with what you think is the best squad.  It'll be nice when we finally get past all this t

The Waivers Wrap - Week 1

 The Waivers Wrap - By Sue Nami The mood was festive at the Chester Cheetos® football office complex on the Dave Waivers University Campus following the Fightin' Blue Waves 174-164 victory over cross-division stalwarts, Skers University.  As the Waves topped the league's scoring charts this week, head coach Dave Waivers appeared at the post-game press conference swinging a large pair of chrome TruckNuts in circles over his head.  The TruckNuts, emblazoned with a royal blue enamel DWU logo and encrusted with diamonds, are normally presented on the sidelines to players who have recently forced a turnover.  "But I felt like I earned these bad boys, " said Waivers, "on account of being league top scorers and all." "We had a real close one today--we needed BT Potter to step up and make some big kicks, and he did," said Waivers, referring to the placekicker who overcame the Waves 1.3 point deficit coming into last night's Clemson/Georgia Tech game. &