The Waivers Wrap - Week 8

 THE WAIVERS WRAP – By Sue Nami

Despite endless and predictable pre-game self-flagellation from the Wintergreens! University football staff in the run-up to Saturday’s Danville Anvil matchup, WU naturally turned in far and away its best performance of the season, besting the Fightin’ Blue Waves 216-144.  Even though WU officials repeatedly assured the public of their own team’s ineptitude—in a fashion as pathetic as it was unsolicited—no less than seven of eight WU offensive starters bested their season scoring average, because of course.

Now at 2-6, DWU’s chance to make the playoffs is all but over.  The Fightin’ Blue Waves must travel to Pickswell to face the Earls this Saturday with top-scorer Dorian Thompson-Robinson in doubt with an injury to his throwing hand.  

None of the DWU football staff was available to meet the press after the game, though SID Landry Collins did make available to the press Martha, an elderly, Polish language only speaker, who cleans the architecture building.

“Coach sad,” commented Martha, whose last name and association with the athletics department was not provided to the press corps.  “I no work today, so I no clean.” 

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